Why single women above 35 in India are saying ‘Yehi hai right choice, baby!’

Why single women above 35 in India are saying ‘Yehi hai right choice, baby!’

When year-old Manisha Agarwal name changed logged on to a dating app for the first time, she was paralysed with fear. Married for 15 years, she needed a distraction from her sexless and loveless marriage , but was scared she would be caught in the act. Here someone always knows you or one of your acquaintances. Unhappy with her unfulfilling married life, Agarwal desperately wanted to find someone she could connect with. She knew she could not risk having an affair with a friend, so she decided to look for potential partners on a dating app. For the latest news and more, follow HuffPost India on Twitter , Facebook , and subscribe to our newsletter. She was looking for casual sex, and knew nobody would swipe right for her if she only mentioned her name and age. Agarwal is just one of the many married women in India who use dating apps to find companionship. Although affairs and meetings with men bring excitement to their lives, they also live in fear of the embarrassment and shame of being found out. Other popular dating apps in the country include Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge.

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In India, single women above the age of 35 are making their own choices when it comes to career, dating, and sex, battling stereotypes – and proudly. Two of my close friends are single women in their mids — in the prime of their careers and enjoying both life and work. They are not in a hurry to conform to norms and get married. Like every other single woman in India, and maybe even abroad, what irks them most is family WhatsApp groups and functions.

The scene is the same at family weddings. Smriti and Minal form a part of the growing tribe of single women in India — unmarried or divorced. According to the last census data and much has changed since then , there was a 39 percent increase in the number of single women — widows, never-married, divorced, abandoned — from Author Sreemoyee Piu Kundu featured 3, urban single women and their diverse stories in her book Status Single.

However, the growing number of single women in the country is not an indication of empowerment or emancipation. Society is still judgemental, and single women are bound by stereotypes. Meenu Mehrotra 50 , an archetypal consultant, healer, and spiritual counsellor based in Gurugram, walked out of her marriage of 24 years with the complete support of her parents and her two grown-up children.

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Five years ago, I met with a matchmaker. I went in scornful. Like many of my progressive South Asian peers, I denounced arranged marriage as offensive and regressive. But when the matchmaker recited her lengthy questionnaire, I grasped, if just for a beat, why people did things this way. Do you believe in a higher power? No idea.

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Interracial relationships may be more common than ever. But just because they’ve become an increasingly familiar dynamic doesn’t mean they’re widely accepted in Singapore. Halima binte Mohamed Yahuff, 26, and Muhammad Faris Bin Rusli, 28, have grown used to being judged for dating someone outside of their own race in the two years they’ve been together.

While people here have warmed up to the Indian guy-Chinese girl combination, they still aren’t used to seeing an Indian girl with a Malay guy,” says Halima. However, the disapproval from strangers wasn’t the toughest part of their relationship – at least not till recently. For a long time, they also didn’t have the full support of both their families. She’d ask him things like, ‘What is the wedding going to be like?

It didn’t help that Faris was her first boyfriend. In fact, up till today, Halima still adheres to a 10pm curfew though her father now approves of Faris – the latter took a year to prove that he can take care of her despite their differences in culture and upbringing. The couple got engaged earlier this month and will wed in June. They plan on playing up the interracial element for their wedding. Also, while we’ll be in matching colours for our solemnisation, I’ll be dressed as an Indian bride while Faris will wear the traditional Baju Melayu,” says Halima.

They also plan on holding a white-top-blue-jeans reception in the evening to celebrate their marriage as modern millennials.

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