See the gallery. Title: Indian Matchmaking —. A four-part documentary series following young adults on the autism spectrum as they explore the unpredictable world of love, dating and relationships. A Suitable Girl follows three young women in India struggling to maintain their identities and follow their dreams amid intense pressure to get married. The film examines the women’s complex relationship with marriage, family, and society. In this reality show, couples overcome obstacles to celebrate their love in surprise dream weddings designed by three experts in less than a week.
This book is an extensive and thorough exploration of the ways in which the middle class in India select their spouse. Using the prism of matchmaking, this book critically unpacks the concept of the ‘modern’ and traces the importance of moralities and values in the making of middle class identities, by bringing to the fore intersections and dynamics of caste, class, gender, and neoliberalism.
The author discusses a range of issues: romantic relationships among youth, use of online technology and of professional services like matrimonial agencies and detective agencies, encounters of love and heartbreak, impact of experiences of pain and humiliation on spouse-selection, and the involvement of family in matchmaking.
Based on this comprehensive account, she elucidates how the categories of ‘love’ and ‘arranged’ marriages fall short of explaining, in its entirety and essence, the contemporary process of spouse-selection in urban India. Though the ethnographic research has been conducted in India, this book is of relevance to social scientists studying matchmaking practices, youth cultures, modernity and the middle class in other societies, particularly in parts of Asia.
While being based on thorough scholarship, the book is written in accessible language to appeal to a larger audience.
Indian Matchmaking is a summer hit for Netflix, but the global series was filmed from April to October in , on the cusp of India’s wedding.
Matchmaker Sima Taparia guides clients in the U. Sima meets three unlucky-in-love clients: a stubborn Houston lawyer, a picky Mumbai bachelor and a misunderstood Morris Plains, N. Friends and family get honest with Pradhyuman. Sima consults a face reader for clarity on her clients. A setback with Vinay temporarily discourages Nadia. Sima offers two more prospects to Aparna. Feeling the pressure, Pradhyuman finally goes on a date.
Nadia has a promising date. Pradhyuman sees a life coach. Sima sends Aparna to an astrologer and seeks a cultural match for guidance counselor Vyasar. A date with a model uplifts Pradhyuman.
Commentary: What Netflix’s ‘Indian Matchmaking’ doesn’t tell you about arranged marriage
I remember reading a cartoon a number of years ago in which two parents were telling their daughter, “You can marry anyone you want as long as he’s a brahmin. Certainly the tradition of marrying within one’s caste, or jati occupation , and community language group , is still the strongest one in our global Hindu community. New trends, however, are also manifesting, as our article points out. For example, it is common these days to marry someone of your own profession, often having met each other in graduate school.
The star of the hit Netflix reality series ‘Indian Matchmaking‘ on the response to Season 1, love, life, and everything in between.
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Mixing documentary modes with dating show ridicule, it maintains and masks the most insidious injury arranged by marriage: caste. In the arranged marriage institution, proposals are familial, not individual. Parents organize heterosexist matches for their adult children from a shortlist of vetted candidates. The aim is an alliance between families. The currency of exchange is women.
The metric of suitability plays fast and loose with consent and dignity. Indian Matchmaking dives into this perverse and infantilizing world of marriage broker aunties, eugenicist astrologer uncles, aggressively anxious parents, and supportive but complicit peers — all pressed into the dating show blueprint of reality television.
But the show is far more fragmented, less adherent to the genre, than might first appear. Six of the eight episodes begin with testimonials from an older cohort of arranged spouses.
From Manusmriti to Indian Matchmaking, tracing the roots of arranged marriages
The first season of the show has missed presenting an all-round and inclusive picture of the Indian reality. That Indian Matchmaking has upset people across the spectrum is slightly baffling given we are a culture obsessed with arranged marriages. Newspapers embellished with matrimonial adverts — ridiculous and regressive in equal measure — are perhaps the oldest testimonies to our fixation with this robust institution.
With Indian Matchmaking , this well-preserved secret is out for Western edification and that is perhaps the reason for our collective outrage against the show.
Covers all caste in Hindus! Sister Concern of Chennai Sai Sankara Matrimonials For Brahmins(Highly Reputed with more than Weddings)!; Well.
Critics accuse the show of stereotyping and commodifying women, lacking diversity and promoting a backwards vision of marriage where astrologers and meddling parents are more influential than the preferences of brides and grooms. They complain that the series, which follows matchmaker Sima Taparia as she jets between Mumbai and the U. In fact, the real problem may be their discomfort with the way marriage works in India, with social stability prized over individual happiness.
A small fraction still practices child marriage, with some communities holding betrothal ceremonies as soon as a girl is born. At the other end of the spectrum, there is growing acceptance of queer relationships, divorce and even avoiding marriage altogether. But most Indian marriages are still arranged. Even college-educated, urban, middle-class Indians show a strong preference to marry within caste.
Muslims in South Asia marry within their biradari or jaat — a stand-in for Hindu caste. The reason Guyanese-born Nadia faces a limited set of options in the show is not because of her South American birth, but because Indians who were shipped as indentured laborers to the New World were mostly lower castes, or so perceived.
When the purpose of marriage is to find love, companionship and compatibility, then the focus is on the characteristics of the individual. The marriage market is akin to a matching market, similar to Tinder or Uber. But, in a world where marriage exists to maintain caste lines, the nature of the marriage market more closely resembles a commodity market, where goods are graded into batches. Within every batch, the commodity is substitutable — as in wheat or coffee exchanges.
The show follows the journey of a Mumbai-based matchmaker who arranges marriage alliances between wealthy families in India and the US. What is disconcerting is not simply the easy acceptance of social conservatism by the young and elderly, not the least by Indian diaspora in the United States. What stands out for Indians is the importance of marital status. Arranged marriages, the norm in India, are tightly bound within the caste of the bride and groom.
In crude forms like matrimonial websites, caste preferences are the main criteria, followed by physical appearance and salary potential.
Marriages are links in marriage match making kundli pro software from local astrologers in kundali, cancer in indian astrology. Traditionally vedic astrology in many.
But being an Indian woman , and rarely seeing myself represented on the small screen in dating show contexts, I knew I had to watch it as soon as it aired. My expectations were low, but somehow I was still disappointed. The series follows Taparia as she meets with clients including Akshay, Pradhyuman and Ankita, finds out what they want, and aims to set them up with their perfect match. But rather than point out that the caste system which ranks Hindus through a hierarchical structure is, in theory, abolished but still holds sway, the show sidesteps it entirely.
In its place, there is veiled language. This is what bothered me the most. We have Akshay, who wants to uphold gendered roles with his choice of wife. She claims her blood pressure will be through the roof until her son finds an appropriate match who she approves of. On the other hand, we see Taparia constantly telling her female clients they are being too demanding in their lists of what they want in a partner.
She makes it clear that they are the ones who need to adjust to make their matches more compatible. In that, the roles of men and women are set. Ankita, an independent woman who was sure of herself, was brushed aside by Tapari and Geeta, another matchmaker, for that very reason. Your worth as a woman is directly related to whether you are in a relationship or not.
Porutham – Horoscope Matching to find Marriage Match
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There’s a second a matchmaker in the show and she’s making my blood boil by saying things like “marriage is not equal” and “women have to be more.
These are just some of the things several South Asian women say they have been told by their families and matchmakers who have tried to arrange their marriage with a series of prospective suitors. Religion, caste, and class compatibility are often given importance within the practice. It is challenging, and likely impossible, to condense and critically evaluate how arranged marriages work across the South Asian subcontinent within the format of one article or TV show. One of the major drawbacks of Indian Matchmaking, critics say, is that it focuses on matchmaking within the selective bubble of mostly wealthy, upper-caste North Indian Hindus, and uncritically normalizes many aspects of a deeply complex system.
It has also prompted several South Asian women to share their own problematic, and at times traumatic, experiences with the process. BuzzFeed News collected anecdotes from women who documented their experiences on social media as well as from interviews with South Asian women who shared their own stories and critiques. Her parents began setting her up with matches as soon as Gururaja returned to India in after finishing college in the US. Gururaja said she encountered several microaggressions, subtle sexism, and a lot of anti-gay prejudice during these meetings.
There were also a lot of inherent assumptions that she would move wherever the man lived, she said, and her own education and career goals were constantly dismissed. The two professional matchmakers featured on the show advise their women clients to learn to compromise on their own ambitions and dreams for the sake of a good suitor. When she told them she wanted her partner’s politics to align with her own, she said, her parents dismissed it as unimportant.
When she refused to meet a match based on his biodata, her parents questioned how she could make the decision without meeting him in person.
Viewers Binged Netflix’s “Indian Matchmaking,” But For Some The Show Brought Up Painful Memories
With clients across the globe, Sima’s love escapades saw her breezily jaunt from country to country, allowing viewers today to reminisce on life Following Sima as she curates potential marriages for both her Indian and Indian-American clients, the show sheds light on how the cultural traditions within Indian marriage have evolved in modern times.
Besides brief mentions of the looming hectic pace of marriage season and off-hand comments regarding warm weather, there aren’t many clues for when the featured singles entered their matchmaking journey. Still, in the days when the thought of physical contact with strangers didn’t cause anxiety, Indian Matchmaking was filmed during early spring of , wrapping in October. As reported by Bustle , Sima and series director Smriti Mundhra originally sent out casting feelers to of Sima’s clients, with 12 agreeing to be featured.
Unlike the United States where weddings happen year-round, with the classic snowy wedding gracing the days of December and beach weddings marking spring or summertime calendars, India has culturally defined wedding seasons.
Akanksha Singh, an Indian female writer based in Bombay, explains why Netflix’s Indian Matchmaking and Sima Taparia misses the mark.
Kundli Matching or Horoscope Matching plays vital role at the time of marriage. Hindu Scriptures consider marriage as a holy union planned even before taking birth. Marriage is also one of the most beautiful moments in one’s life. This is the area where actual happiness of the person lies over. Where marriage is an important aspect in India, people today are very much interested in finding the perfect life partner.
In Hinduism, horoscope or kundli of both boy and girl are matched in order to nullify any bad effects after marriage. Also, in case of any doshas, astrology offers several remedies and solutions to overcome its malefic effects. Marriage is the sacred bond between two separate entities, bringing them together for a long and healthy marital life. The factors which are considered at the time of marriage are Guna Milan is based on the position of Moon in the Natal Charts of bride and groom.
‘Indian Matchmaking’ wastes the opportunity to become a wonderful show about human connections
Every reality show has at least one villain. As Sima and the show itself frequently remind us, arranged marriage is not quite the form of social control it used to be; everyone here emphasizes that they have the right to choose or refuse the matches presented to them. But as becomes especially clear when Sima works in India, that choice is frequently and rather roughly pressured by an anvil of social expectations and family duty.
But I was hesitant to invite her to watch Indian Matchmaking with me, knowing her marriage to my dad was arranged. They’re still happily married.
Indian Matchmaking is a Indian documentary television series produced by Smriti Mundhra. Indian Matchmaking was released on July 16, , on Netflix. Mundhra named the casting the biggest hurdle of the show, going through a client list of families and calling to see if they were willing to be on camera. Mundhra also noted that the series initially started with about a dozen singles but with some that “fell off” during production.
The show received mixed reviews between critics and social media users. In addition to showing ” classist ” and ” casteist ” stereotypes, the show was criticized for whitewashing the idea of arranged marriages.